Until this morning, I thought the award for most ridiculous way of getting down a hill had to go to the snowbike (or veloski or possibly skibob – you can tell a thing is likely to be a complete fail when it’s been through three names already and you still haven’t heard of it). Explicitly advertised as a tool for people who can’t ski, it looks as though it was specifically designed to send the rider hurtling out of control into the nearest tree. The snowbike, I thought, was surpassed in total stupidity only by binliners or the orange padding mattresses used to prevent people braining themselves on the pylons, and both of those methods of locomotion were disqualified from the competition on the grounds that they are only ever used by drunks.
But we’re always on the lookout for a new experience here in the Oisans, and following a bimble past the recently-opened junk shop this morning, I am proud to present what is probably an unbeatable piece of wintersports-related idiocy. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ……………… the Monoblade!
Monoskiing was bad enough (though it has retro-80s cool points these days, admittedly), but whoever thought the abomination which is snowblading could be improved by sticking a pair of them together to make one big fat one must have been taking something which ought to be illegal even if it isn’t already.