Tag Archives: Alps

Foot in the crosshairs ……… fire!

Right, you lot. You can stop looking forward to that nice holiday you planned to spend showing friends round your favourite French ski resort. Don’t you realise that what you’re doing is horrifically dangerous? Really, how could you possibly imagine … Continue reading

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Posted in Ski Season | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Nurse! The jacket with the long sleeves please.

So this week I will be mainly having myself sectioned before curling up into a little ball in the corner of a room with suspiciously soft walls and sucking my thumb. Or possibly I should just check myself into one … Continue reading

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Posted in Summer Season | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

High tech self flagellation

The Tour de France will not be gracing us with its presence this year, something which you might think is a bit of a disappointment to us all. And indeed it might be if you’re the owner of pretty much … Continue reading

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Posted in Summer Season | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Nothing to lose but your chains

The middle of Les Menuires in February seems an unlikely place for a sit-in, if only because sitting in rather precludes getting out on skis. Seasonnaires aren’t generally the most militant of groups either, being chosen for their laid beck … Continue reading

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Posted in Ski Season | Tagged , , , , | 17 Comments

Gestapo on ice

More symptoms of the galloping infantilism endemic in the UK this week, wth the news that skiers favour a system of speed checks, fines, breath tests and on-piste penalty points in a bid to clamp down on people hooning round … Continue reading

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Posted in Ski Season | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments

There’s no pleasing some people

This time last year we were all moaning ourselves into an early grave about lack of snow. Grumble, boring, where’s our snow, rubbish season, we’re taking our ball and going home, humph, we all said. Incessantly. Though to be fair, … Continue reading

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Posted in Pot Luck | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

How to buy a lift ticket. Part II.

I thought I more or less had this covered in last year’s post, but now that the festive hordes have finally turned up after a Christmas presumably spent stuffing their faces at home with the family, it would appear that … Continue reading

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Posted in Ski Season | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Hair shirts for his highness

According to the Royal-watchers this week, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have cancelled their ski holiday for fear of upsetting the hoi polloi in advance of impending economic meltdown and subsequent zombie apocalypse. “William and Catherine appreciate that not … Continue reading

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Posted in Ski Season | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

My hovercraft is full of eels

On of the big irritations of wintersports, judging from detailed observation of your holiday punter, is the fact that they have to be done in Johnny Foreignerland. And before you all think here she goes again doing the superior expat … Continue reading

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Posted in Ski Season | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

An A-Z for seasonnaires

A is for … arse. Yours, if you make the noob mistake of getting lashed every night then eating fry-up and going back to bed in the morning because you’re too hungover to ski. B is for … bus drivers. … Continue reading

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Posted in Ski Season | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments